Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Mars was once run by conservatives

Not too much of a stretch parody.

"Experts Say Vast Deserts, Absence Of Life, May Indicate Mars Was Once Run By Conservatives"

"In a recent revelation, published in the respectably obscure scientific journal Knock Knock Who’s There Science Science Who Too Late, a team of experts from the University of Atlantis released their analysis of what ultimately caused Mars to become a barren dustbowl of shattered galactic dreams: entirely avoidable environmental disaster coupled with unresponsive conservative governance."

"Dr. Philemin goes on to say that one of the most striking discoveries the team made was that Martian governments – which, unlike Earth’s, followed a quasi-democratic model that disproportionately favoured telling lies, telling sweet little lies – seemed largely unwilling, or unable, to tackle any and all problems with a time frame greater than four Mars’ years. Coincidentally the length of time between most elections on the now lifeless planet."

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