WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Secretary
of Education Betsy DeVos offered a spirited defense of her boss’s
intelligence on Friday, bluntly asking reporters, “Would a moron hire
me?”
“My intelligence can be very
intimidating,” DeVos said. “And if Donald Trump was a moron, he would
not want to be around people who are intelligenter than him.”
As
evidence that Trump does not feel inferior around highly intelligent
people, DeVos singled out other members of Trump’s Cabinet. "Leave me
out of it for a second,” she said. “If Donald Trump was such a
blithering idiot, why would he have hired Rick Perry?”
“Jared
Kushner is also super smart,” she added. “He doesn’t even work on
Saturdays because he’s a Jewish person and whatnot, but he doesn’t have
to because of his huge brain and all. He’s so smart I have a nickname
for him. I call him Smart Jared.”
Arguing that
only a “very smart person would hire such very smart persons,” DeVos
said, “Think about it. Rick Perry, Jared Kushner, and me. Wouldn’t
Donald Trump have to be pretty smart to hire four people like that?”
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