Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tirewalk

I attended a 1000-hour massage therapy course in the mid 80s in San Diego at the Institute for Psycho-Structural Balancing. I was amazed by the incredible and self-serving claims that were circulating for New Age self-help techniques and therapies. So much so that I did an entire series of satire flyers mocking the sincere flyers littering each and every New Age bulletin board. Tony Robbins' Firewalk was just starting up and I did one on him called Tirewalk, as follows.

Tirewalk with Manthony Robbers and his ever-present Neuro-Egotistical Programming

Walk on tires! If you can do this then you can do anything! It's a true fact, the God's Truth, no less. With yet another Accelerated Program you can evolve your ego to drastic heights never before dreamed of by even your limited perception. As we see it, you ain't done nothin' till you walked on tires. So get with it! As you may well know, there's no time even remotely like NOW (except every now and again). Why even think the way you do? Drop that seventies poverty bullshit  and hop on the bandwagon. This stuff is IN!

We've got 20 feet of Michelin, Goodyear and organic tires that have been baking all day in the hot Arizona sun. You thought coals were hot; compared to this that's ice water. Tirewalk is performed by Manthony Robbers, one hell of a showman and a damned good charlatan. He deserves the money (by "divine right," of course) if you fall for such an obvious scam. You know what P.T. Barnum used to say? If not then this seminar is for you! Step right this way, step on up, the show is about to begin.

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