Huevos Rancheros

March '81

It gets lonely out on the prairie at night

Nothing but the stars to talk to

The moon listens to the howls of the coyotes

And the campfire listens to the sound of my farts

While I'm warming my hands on the blaze

The smell of my farts remind me of

Chorus:

Huevos Rancheros, been playing on my mind

I love senoritas and ranch style eggs.

I'm back at the ranch by the crack of dawn

My wife's name is Dawn so you catch my drift

Been out rustling cattle on the range all week

And I'm hornier than a five o'clock traffic jam

When the loving is done and I'm one hungry cowboy

From the kitchen comes the sweet smell of

Repeat Chorus

Was down in Nogales for a spell last week

Hadn't planned on it but bought a pound of gum

One little boy came up to me and said

“Hey meester, you want to try my seester?”

So I had her right there in the kitchen where she worked

Right on top of a fresh hot plate of

Repeat Chorus

When I got back from my trip I noticed a drip

Funny thing my wife noticed it too

She said “I ought to cut that dirty old thing right off”

But instead she kissed me and went to work

On an old family remedy her mama had showed her

Around my manhood a hot poultice of

Repeat Chorus