Trump Calls His Al Qaeda Recruitment Video Highest-Rated Terror Video Ever
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Just
minutes after the Somali-based Al Qaeda affiliate Shabaab group
released a propaganda video featuring a clip of Donald Trump, the
Republican Presidential front-runner boasted that the video would be the
highest-rated terror video of all time.
Within
an hour of the video’s appearance, Trump took to Twitter to crow about
his role in the jihadist promo, and tweaked his G.O.P. rivals for
failing to be chosen by Shabaab.
“Shabaab would never put Jeb in video,” Trump tweeted. “Knows he is loser!”
But
even as the billionaire boasted about his inclusion in the terror
video, the prospect for future collaborations between Trump and Shabaab
seemed to dim, due to a series of escalating demands issued by the
real-estate magnate.
In a cascade of
tweets directed at the terror group, Trump insisted that he be paid two
million dollars for every subsequent video and that he retain editorial
control over the final cut.
In a
terse official statement, a Shabaab spokesman said that the terror group
was “discontinuing our relationship with Donald J. Trump.”
"He’s just too hard to work with,” the spokesman said.
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