Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Jesus and Marx walk into a bar

From this source:

Jesus: Did you really write that religion is the opiate of the masses?

Karl: Yeah . . . you got a problem with that?

Jesus: No. I wish I had said it first.

Karl: What ever happened to your prediction that you were going to come back, the Second Coming and all that?

Jesus: What ever happened to your prediction of the breakdown of capitalism and the rise of an enlightened proletariat?

Jesus: The problem with followers is that in short order they lose sight of what really matters.

Karl: You’ve got that right—I wonder if the people claiming to be my followers ever actually read my book.

Jesus: The percentage of your “followers” who have studied your book carefully is probably about the same as the percentage of my “followers” who’ve read mine carefully.

Karl: Your core message and mine are actually very similar. I read this the other day: “We should find inspiration and encouragement in the New Testament and the Manifesto. For both documents are expressions of the same hope: that some day we shall be willing and able to treat the needs of all human beings with the same respect and consideration with which we treat the needs of those closest to us, those whom we love.”

Jesus: I like that! Who wrote it?

Karl: A guy named Richard Rorty. Why didn’t you know that? I thought you knew everything!

Jesus: Hey, I’m human! Wasn’t Rorty an atheist?

Karl: Yeah—you got a problem with that?

Jesus: Not at all—I like atheists. A lot less bullshit to cut through. "

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