From the Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The DNC Collective has assimilated yet another
species, the Borg King Joe Biden proudly announced Thursday morning.
Species
10027, Tulsi Gabbard, was successfully injected with nanoprobes and
assimilated into the Borg's campaign, according to Biden's statement.
Gabbard quickly lost all principles and independent thought and began
tirelessly working to further the purposes of the mysterious Borg
species, sources inside the Borg Cube indicated.
"We will add your
biological and political distinctiveness to our own," the Borg King
told Gabbard in a speech celebrating the acquisition of her body into the Borg Collective. "Your campaign will adapt to
service us. Resistance is futile." The crowd of gathered Borg erupted in
drone-like applause to indicate their approval of the new addition.
"Joe
Biden is the best choice for our nation," she said dutifully as soon as
the process was complete. "There are five lights. War is good. Biden is
good."
Gabbard—or Species 10027, as she is now known—was spotted
shortly afterward distributing campaign buttons for the Borg King, who
sneered at his new prize,
"Human. We used to be exactly like them.
Flawed, weak, organic. But we evolved."
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