BROOKLYN (The Borowitz Report)—A
criminal lawyer representing Turing Pharmaceuticals chief Martin
Shkreli has informed his client that he is raising his hourly legal fees
by five thousand per cent, the lawyer has confirmed.
Minutes
after Shkreli’s arrest on charges of securities fraud, the attorney,
Harland Dorrinson, announced that he was hiking his fees from twelve
hundred dollars an hour to sixty thousand dollars.
Shkreli,
who reportedly received the news about the price hike while he was
being fingerprinted, cried foul and accused his attorney of “outrageous
and inhumane price gouging.”
“This is the behavior of a sociopath,” Shkreli was heard screaming.
For his part, Shkreli’s lawyer was unmoved by his client’s complaint. “Compared to what he pays for an hour of Wu-Tang Clan, sixty thou is a bargain,” he said.
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