Thursday, December 17, 2015
Borowitz on Shkreli
Shrkeli is the asshole that bought a company that makes anti-AIDS medication and promptly raised the price 5000%. Now he'd been arrested and charged with securities fraud (big surprise) so Borowitz parodies the situation (following):
BROOKLYN (The Borowitz Report)—A criminal lawyer representing Turing Pharmaceuticals chief Martin Shkreli has informed his client that he is raising his hourly legal fees by five thousand per cent, the lawyer has confirmed.
Minutes after Shkreli’s arrest on charges of securities fraud, the attorney, Harland Dorrinson, announced that he was hiking his fees from twelve hundred dollars an hour to sixty thousand dollars.
Shkreli, who reportedly received the news about the price hike while he was being fingerprinted, cried foul and accused his attorney of “outrageous and inhumane price gouging.”
“This is the behavior of a sociopath,” Shkreli was heard screaming.
For his part, Shkreli’s lawyer was unmoved by his client’s complaint. “Compared to what he pays for an hour of Wu-Tang Clan, sixty thou is a bargain,” he said.