Borowitz: Twit warns mail-in ballots could result in voting

And that's just what Twit and Repugs fear, for they know that the more people who vote means their chances of retaining power dwindle. Borowitz:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the situation a “total disaster,” Donald J. Trump warned on Sunday that the use of mail-in ballots could result in voting.

Appearing on Fox News, Trump said that there were “all kinds of studies” showing a “direct link” between mail-in ballots and votes cast.

“Wherever you’ve had mail-in ballots, there have been widespread cases of voting,” he said. “We’re not going to let that happen.”

He said that other countries have solved the problem of “too many votes” by banning mail-in ballots altogether.

“You look at North Korea,” Trump said. “They don’t have mail-in ballots. They barely have mail. They’re doing an amazing job.”

Raising another issue with what he called “excessive voting,” Trump warned that “the more votes you have, the higher the number you have to count to.”

“When I took my cognitive test, I had to count to ten, and that was no walk in the park,” he said.

“And now you’re telling me there’s somebody out there who can count into the millions? Give me a break.”