TEHRAN—Immediately after President Trump's announcement on Twitter that he had pre-selected fifty-two targets in Iran for destruction, including sites important to Iran's people and ancient culture, Iran's top leaders and generals vowed that they would retaliate in kind as soon as they could figure out what a rapidly declining culture that no longer values its own history or religious heritage still holds dear.
Iran's leaders debated for hours about what targets to select. [...] "We will send our futuristic missiles straight into your Walmarts and your Dairy Queens and your McDonalds, so help us, Allah." [...] President of Iran, Hassan Rouhani finally announced through state media, "We have pre-selected 52 Burger Kings in sites all across the Great Satan America that will be hit hard and fast should your President Trump even attempt to touch any one of our ancient cultural works of art and history"
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